Thoughts on living.

I lost the "A" and it changed everything.

There was a pause in our conversation.

Josh looked around the room and asked us, “Isn’t it amazing that we get to do this for a living?”

Everyone nodded. I chuckled.

“A living?” I looked around. “Is anyone getting paid?” Laughs. Heads shaking.

I smiled. “Maybe we should say it’s amazing we get to do this for living. That we need to do this to sustain our version of what living means, right?”

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I wrote my first tree song in January 2020. It was my first time doing the “song-a-day” challenge that I was inspired to tackle after reading The Artist’s Way. I had no idea that my entire family would get the flu that month...that I would watch my Aunt get sick and die, and that all of our creative momentum would evaporate into a global pandemic.

During the challenge, I wrote a song called “Cherry Tree” after visiting Aunt Kathy at the hospital. It felt like a hymn, a prayer for healing, and a promise that “we can pretend we’re made of tougher stuff than the bones that bind us and the hearts that love…”

A few months later, another tree song came… this time, the metaphor of a mangrove standing in for a song about my dear friend Donna and her love of pottery. I had an idea:

“What if I put out an EP of original songs called The Tree EP?” I love metaphors, and I wanted to make a collection of quieter songs, songs that were different from the music I was making with the band.

Many of these songs have been sitting in my notes app since 2020. I never thought I’d actually get around to seeing these songs come to life until I was having coffee with my friend Josh a few months ago. Josh is passionate about connecting artists in our church network with free studio time and support for their creative work. He asked to hear some of my demos and thought we should start by recording “The Pines.”

I wrote this song this past summer- it’s the newest in my tree collection, and the lyrics are centered on the moments of growth that happen when you cut ties with things that pain you.

I knew that I wanted these collections of songs to include people that I love, and my friends Chelsea and Melissa agreed to bring the vocal harmonies to life and to help me tell the story. Last week, we met back at the studio and sang together for the first time since we all taught together in 2020.

(I promise Melissa is snapping in the picture above).

Chelsea and Melissa added the color and nuance my voice couldn’t accomplish alone. Josh brought in a friend, Kenan, to lay down the guitar part I wrote and engineer the session.

And guess what? We’re doing it.

We’re doing it for living.

If I could wrap up this experience and what it’s teaching me, I’d have to start with these three things:

• Patience: There are creative ideas that will never come to fruition and others that just haven’t found the right season or collaborators yet. Keep watering your seeds and see which ones grow.

• Gratitude: I am grateful. Despite teasing Josh for not making “a living” off of my art or ideas, I am living because of the space and privilege I’ve been given to put work in the world. I don’t take it for granted. I mean, I probably do take it for granted most of the time. I hope I can remember to take it for granted less.

• The Leap: It feels nerve-wracking to put out songs that are so stripped bare, where I’m not covered by loud guitars or super fun drum beats (played by a cute drummer). This is a leap for me. It feels vulnerable. It’s not easy. That’s why having collaborators who are honest and will challenge and affirm means so much.

So, what do you have this week that you’re not doing for a living but you get to do to help you live life to the fullest? Or, if you happen to do something that gives you life and also sustains you in multiple ways, I hope you can take a moment to reflect on how truly beautiful that is.

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Inspiration

🎧 After all of this artist talk, let me be clear. I am in full on sports inspiration mode. Last weekend, I watched Demi score her first goal at soccer and both Norris and Hattie work so hard at ice hockey. Plus, the Eagles! Tanner McKee! I feel like I’ve been living in a feel good Disney sports movie.

🎧 I love the dialogue in Severance. Have you watched season one? I’m rewatching it with Brandon in anticipation of season two, and I forgot how great the dialogue was, especially between the siblings. I’m taking notes on how I can incorporate more believable and humorous dialogue into my own work.

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Creative

🌟 Song a Day challenge is in full swing! Every day is not great, but we’re doing it. It’s been so fun to see all of the people who have joined us this year (75 are participating!) You can see everyone’s songs on Instagram @songwriting_for_me.

🌟 Remember how I said my novel edits would be finished by the end of December? Thank you to everyone who reminded me about that goal 😂. There is nothing like substack subscriber accountability. I didn’t reach my goal, but I’m still chugging away. So close! If you signed up to be a beta reader, I’ll have some info soon.

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Thanks for subscribing and reading. I hope you’re living.

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Connect with my work elsewhere:

🎧 listen to my podcast with Kimberly McGlonn

💻 Order my children’s book, Rosie Rocks!

📚 visit my fair-pay publishing company, F-flat Books.

🎤 get songwriting support through Songwriting for M.E.